What is the difference between coaching and mentoring?

Coaching. The premise: You have the capacity to work this out, and what you are short of is the conditions to do it in. Who holds the expertise: You do, about your own life. The coach holds expertise in the process of thinking, not in your subject. Direction in time: Forward. Occasionally into the past to understand a pattern, but only in service of what happens next. What you leave with: Your own decisions, and usually a clearer sense of what you actually want, which is often the part that was missing. Mentoring. The premise: Someone has walked this road and can shorten yours. Who holds the expertise: The mentor, in the domain. That is the whole basis of the relationship. Direction in time: Mostly the mentor's past applied to your future. What you leave with: Direction, context, and often access to a network you did not have.

What is the difference between coaching and therapy?

Coaching. The premise: You have the capacity to work this out, and what you are short of is the conditions to do it in. Who holds the expertise: You do, about your own life. The coach holds expertise in the process of thinking, not in your subject. Direction in time: Forward. Occasionally into the past to understand a pattern, but only in service of what happens next. What you leave with: Your own decisions, and usually a clearer sense of what you actually want, which is often the part that was missing. Therapy. The premise: Something is causing distress or impairment, and it warrants clinical attention. Who holds the expertise: The therapist, in psychological assessment and treatment, under a licence and a professional body. Direction in time: Frequently backward, into history and pattern, in order to change the present. What you leave with: Depends entirely on the presenting issue, but broadly relief, understanding and better functioning.

What is the difference between coaching and training?

Coaching. The premise: You have the capacity to work this out, and what you are short of is the conditions to do it in. Who holds the expertise: You do, about your own life. The coach holds expertise in the process of thinking, not in your subject. Direction in time: Forward. Occasionally into the past to understand a pattern, but only in service of what happens next. What you leave with: Your own decisions, and usually a clearer sense of what you actually want, which is often the part that was missing. Training. The premise: There is a defined body of skill or knowledge, and you do not have it yet. Who holds the expertise: The trainer, in the content, and usually in how to teach it. Direction in time: Present. This is capability transfer. What you leave with: A skill you did not have, and usually a way to prove you have it.

The guide

Coaching, mentoring, training and therapy. What is actually different.

These four words get used as if they are interchangeable and they are not. They differ in who holds the expertise, which direction in time they face, and what you are meant to leave with.

I coach for a living, so treat this page accordingly. I have tried to describe the other three the way a good practitioner of each would describe their own work, and I have been specific about when coaching is the wrong answer, because it often is.

The four, one at a time

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Coaching

The premise

You have the capacity to work this out, and what you are short of is the conditions to do it in.

When it is the wrong choice

When you genuinely lack information or skill and no amount of good questioning will conjure it. When you are in crisis. When what you need is someone who has done the specific thing and can tell you how.

Who holds the expertise: You do, about your own life. The coach holds expertise in the process of thinking, not in your subject.
Direction in time: Forward. Occasionally into the past to understand a pattern, but only in service of what happens next.
What the practitioner does: Asks questions, reflects back what they hear, notices what you are avoiding, holds you to what you said you would do.
What you leave with: Your own decisions, and usually a clearer sense of what you actually want, which is often the part that was missing.

Mentoring

The premise

Someone has walked this road and can shorten yours.

When it is the wrong choice

When the decision is about what you want rather than how a thing is done, because a mentor's answer is shaped by a career that is not yours. When you need to build the muscle of deciding for yourself.

Who holds the expertise: The mentor, in the domain. That is the whole basis of the relationship.
Direction in time: Mostly the mentor's past applied to your future.
What the practitioner does: Advises, opens doors, tells you what they would do, tells you what they got wrong.
What you leave with: Direction, context, and often access to a network you did not have.

Training

The premise

There is a defined body of skill or knowledge, and you do not have it yet.

When it is the wrong choice

When the problem is not a knowledge gap. A great many people who sign up for a training course already know the content and are stuck on something else entirely.

Who holds the expertise: The trainer, in the content, and usually in how to teach it.
Direction in time: Present. This is capability transfer.
What the practitioner does: Teaches to a curriculum, demonstrates, sets practice, assesses whether it landed.
What you leave with: A skill you did not have, and usually a way to prove you have it.

Therapy

The premise

Something is causing distress or impairment, and it warrants clinical attention.

When it is the wrong choice

When there is nothing clinical going on and what you actually want is to think through a work decision. Therapy is not a general purpose upgrade and a good therapist will say so.

Who holds the expertise: The therapist, in psychological assessment and treatment, under a licence and a professional body.
Direction in time: Frequently backward, into history and pattern, in order to change the present.
What the practitioner does: Assesses, treats, works with mental health conditions, holds clinical responsibility for your safety.
What you leave with: Depends entirely on the presenting issue, but broadly relief, understanding and better functioning.

Side by side

The comparison

Coaching, mentoring, training and therapy compared across six attributes.
	Coaching	Mentoring	Training	Therapy
Expertise sits with	You	The mentor	The trainer	The therapist
Faces	Forward	Their past, your future	The present	Often backward
Core move	Asks	Advises	Teaches	Treats
Agenda set by	You	Shared	The curriculum	Shared, clinically framed
Licensed	No	No	No	Yes
You leave with	Your decisions	Their direction	A new skill	Relief and understanding

Coaching

Expertise sits with: You
Faces: Forward
Core move: Asks
Agenda set by: You
Licensed: No
You leave with: Your decisions

Mentoring

Expertise sits with: The mentor
Faces: Their past, your future
Core move: Advises
Agenda set by: Shared
Licensed: No
You leave with: Their direction

Training

Expertise sits with: The trainer
Faces: The present
Core move: Teaches
Agenda set by: The curriculum
Licensed: No
You leave with: A new skill

Therapy

Expertise sits with: The therapist
Faces: Often backward
Core move: Treats
Agenda set by: Shared, clinically framed
Licensed: Yes
You leave with: Relief and understanding

Which one you need

A rough test

A rough test that works more often than it should.

Ask yourself what is actually missing.

If what is missing is information or skill, you want training. If what is missing is the map, because someone else has been here and you have not, you want mentoring. If what is missing is the space to hear yourself think, you want coaching. If what is missing is your ability to function the way you want to, you want therapy, and you want it sooner rather than after you have tried the other three.

The most common mix up is seeking coaching when the honest answer is training, because coaching feels more senior. The second is seeking coaching when therapy is the better fit, and a good coach will say so early rather than work around it.

Where the lines blur

In practice

In practice these run together, and most experienced practitioners will tell you the same.

Mentoring conversations turn into coaching the moment the mentor stops answering and starts asking, which good mentors do constantly. Training programmes that stick almost always have a coaching element attached, because knowing a thing and doing it under pressure are different problems. Coaching and therapy overlap most obviously in the room, since both involve one person paying close attention to another, and least obviously in what each is qualified and insured to handle.

Plenty of people work with a coach and a therapist at the same time and find the combination useful. If you are doing that, it is worth telling both.

On regulation

Who is allowed to call themselves what

Therapy is a regulated profession with licensing requirements that vary by country. Coaching, in most places including India, is not. Anyone can call themselves a coach tomorrow morning.

What exists instead is voluntary accreditation, most commonly through the International Coaching Federation, which sets training hours, coaching hours and an ethics code. It is a useful signal rather than a guarantee, and it is worth asking any coach you are considering what they trained in, how many hours they have coached and what they do when a conversation moves into clinical territory.

I am currently building toward the ICF ACC credential and I am happy to answer all three of those questions directly.

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